THE MOST MUSTY HOTEL ON EARTH™

you were casually browsing hotels like a responsible adult... but then you saw the reviews: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ “there was mold on the mold. i opened the mini fridge and a raccoon made eye contact with me. also there were DEAD PIGS IN MY BATHROOM???” ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ “water smelled like hot fart soup. extremely crusty. i showered and somehow came out dirtier.” ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ “this place made me question the very concept of cleanliness. i would rather sleep in a haunted dumpster full of spiders. 100% NEVER AGAIN.” ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ “haha poo.” and your reaction? hmm… intriguing... LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO TERE THEN!!!1111!!!!