Don’t Touch A Cop Or You Will Be Arrested

Walked too close? Jail. Looked suspicious? Jail. Blinked twice? Jail. Touched a cop? Jail. Brushed their hat? JAIL. Barely tapped the air near their shoe from 7 miles away? JAIL. Try blaming it on the dog? LOL jail. Blamed Ariana Grande? DOUBLE jail. Touched their snack, radio, or imaginary friend? Guess what… jail. Was it your fault? Nope. Jail. Was it an accident? Still jail. You’re basically speedrunning jail for existing. Once you’re out, congrats! You get to pay a fine so disrespectful, it makes your £100,000,000,000 cry into its wallet. Wanna escape? Too bad. We added a robbery feature just to prank you. You click it? Nothing. Just sadness. This isn’t a game. This is a lifestyle of unearned punishment. The cops don’t care. The game doesn’t care. And you? You’re probably going back to jail just for reading this.